There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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