she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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