i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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