Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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