i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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