She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
