is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so let's talk penis.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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