my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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