White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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