Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
