Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Watching her eat just hurts me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
