I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize