Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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