i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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