She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
