sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
