One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize