Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
