Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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