I think my vagina is haunted
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize