then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
