There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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