I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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