i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
