I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
