thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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