you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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