May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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