6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize