the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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