you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
