I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
