Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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