Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
