Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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