I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
