My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
