Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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