Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
