She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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