She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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