Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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