its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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