I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
