dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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