It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
