i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
