Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
