I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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