So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
