I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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