how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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