i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
