I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
