i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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