We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
