Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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