that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
