my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize